A transformation from brokenness to holiness
This post was written a LONG time ago, 5/23/2015
I am posting it today to remember how God was working in my life. How easy it is for me to let minute by minute slip away. Laying on my bed, overcome with pure exhaustion, only to wake up to yet another day, where I do the same thing over again.
Life gets busy and overwhelming and I lose sight of the incredible blessing to married to a man who truly loves me and beautiful children that are and should be a joy.
I lose sight of who God has made me to be, and I forget that I have a purpose on this earth, more than to just experience time, day after day. I forget to be in the moment as my mind reels into overtime, thinking about tomorrow before today has even ended, and there it goes again. Tick, Tick, Tick, another minute just went by, a minute, that I could have been more selfless, trusted God more, connected with my husband or children more.
I hit my pillow from pure exhaustion and can hardly move, I question how much energy I can possibly give, but Lord you promise there is always more, and how I need, your, help, I can't do it alone. I hate, that I keep, try, try, trying and never quite get to where I could if I would just humble my heart before you and beg for your grace and mercy in my time of need that you long to give me so freely and expect nothing in return.
I want to be different in so many ways, and tonight I feel the fresh wind caressing my face beckoning me to be different, be transformed, trust in you more with every ounce of my being. You are calling me to wake up, to be truly awake, eyes open, heart open, hands open, arms open. I want to run into your arms daily. Loosen these chains on me, of selfishness, of idolizing sleep, of controlling everything, resisting intimacy with my husband, relying on myself, sleeping in and missing time with you and in your precious word that should be a lifeline for me. FORGIVE ME FOR MY WICKEDNESS AND SIN TOWARDS YOU!
Don't let me be the same person tomorrow when I wake up. I beg you Lord don't leave me unchanged, unsentimental, undone. But with nights sleeping renewal, wash over me a love that runs deep through my husband and my children, so much so that I forget about myself at all.
Help me to love you again, the way you deserve. Bring me back to my first love, let me not run from you, but to sprint towards your light to illuminate my every path of every minute of my every day.
Tick, Tick, Tick there it goes again, another minute, from another hour, from another day and I won't let time keep running away. Tick, Tick, Tick here comes another smile, another laugh, another tickle, another kiss, another opportunity to love, to be real, to experience emotion and not keep it tucked away, another chance to another day. The day is now, the time is now. Here we come.
I am posting it today to remember how God was working in my life. How easy it is for me to let minute by minute slip away. Laying on my bed, overcome with pure exhaustion, only to wake up to yet another day, where I do the same thing over again.
Life gets busy and overwhelming and I lose sight of the incredible blessing to married to a man who truly loves me and beautiful children that are and should be a joy.
I lose sight of who God has made me to be, and I forget that I have a purpose on this earth, more than to just experience time, day after day. I forget to be in the moment as my mind reels into overtime, thinking about tomorrow before today has even ended, and there it goes again. Tick, Tick, Tick, another minute just went by, a minute, that I could have been more selfless, trusted God more, connected with my husband or children more.
I hit my pillow from pure exhaustion and can hardly move, I question how much energy I can possibly give, but Lord you promise there is always more, and how I need, your, help, I can't do it alone. I hate, that I keep, try, try, trying and never quite get to where I could if I would just humble my heart before you and beg for your grace and mercy in my time of need that you long to give me so freely and expect nothing in return.
I want to be different in so many ways, and tonight I feel the fresh wind caressing my face beckoning me to be different, be transformed, trust in you more with every ounce of my being. You are calling me to wake up, to be truly awake, eyes open, heart open, hands open, arms open. I want to run into your arms daily. Loosen these chains on me, of selfishness, of idolizing sleep, of controlling everything, resisting intimacy with my husband, relying on myself, sleeping in and missing time with you and in your precious word that should be a lifeline for me. FORGIVE ME FOR MY WICKEDNESS AND SIN TOWARDS YOU!
Don't let me be the same person tomorrow when I wake up. I beg you Lord don't leave me unchanged, unsentimental, undone. But with nights sleeping renewal, wash over me a love that runs deep through my husband and my children, so much so that I forget about myself at all.
Help me to love you again, the way you deserve. Bring me back to my first love, let me not run from you, but to sprint towards your light to illuminate my every path of every minute of my every day.
Tick, Tick, Tick there it goes again, another minute, from another hour, from another day and I won't let time keep running away. Tick, Tick, Tick here comes another smile, another laugh, another tickle, another kiss, another opportunity to love, to be real, to experience emotion and not keep it tucked away, another chance to another day. The day is now, the time is now. Here we come.
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